Alright, for you non-jerks let's start the preview.
Anaheim Ducks
Last year: 1st Pacific, lost in Conference Finals
Additions: Francois Beauchemin (COL-FA), Ryan Miller (VAN-FA)
Departures: Jonathan Bernier (COL-FA), Simon Despres (KHL-Bought-out), Jhonas Enroth (KHL-FA), Emerson Etem (ARI-FA), Ryan Garbutt (KHL-FA), Clayton Stoner (VGK-Expansion), Shea Theodore (VGK-Trade), Nate Thompson (OTT-FA)
The Good: Despite loosing Shea Theodore in order to bribe Vegas away from Sami Vatanen, the Ducks retain most of what was an elite defense corps from last season. The forwards are a mix of young and old, but all talented. From Corey Perry to Jakob Silfverberg to Nick Ritchie to Ryan Getzlaf, and many more, this team is filled with proficiency. John Gibson made the jump to full-time starter with ease last season and Ryan Miller should provide some insurance and a handful of solid games behind him.
The Bad: The core is aging. Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry are not the players they once were for the Ducks. Meanwhile, Bieksa and Kesler are far removed from their days with the Canucks. The Ducks may finally take a step back next year as Father Time looks to keep his perfect record alive (spoiler alert: he will). When you remember that they also have high hopes for 2007 Senators alumni Antoine Vermette and Patrick Eaves, they seem less of a sure thing to compete in the Pacific than at first glance.
Prediction: 2nd Pacific
Arizona Coyotes
Last year: 6th Pacific, no playoffs
Additions: Adam Clendening (NYR-FA), Nick Cousins (PHI-Trade), Jason Demers (FLA-Trade), Niklas Hjalmarsson (CHI-Trade), Antti Raanta (NYR-Trade), Zac Rinaldo (BOS-FA), Derek Stepan (NYR-Trade)
Departures: Alexander Burmistrov (VAN-FA), Anthony DeAngelo (NYR-Trade), Shane Doan (Retired), Peter Holland (MTL-FA), Josh Jooris (CAR-FA), Jamie McBain (TBL-FA), Jamie McGinn (FLA-Trade), Connor Murphy (CHI-Trade), Mike Smith (CGY-Trade), Teemu Pulkkinen (VGK-Expansion), Radim Vrbata (FLA-FA)
The Good: Funny thing happened over the off-season, Arizona is... not terrible. How about that? Some smart acquisitions, such as Jason Demers and Derek Stepan, have opened up the possibility of a potential playoff push. With a young core of Oliver Ekman-Larsson, Max Domi, and Tobias Rieder, plus some up and coming talent in Dylan Strome and Jakob Chychrun, the Coyotes look primed to leave the cellar for the foreseeable future.
The Bad: As with seemingly every good-but-probably-not-good-enough team, the 'Yotes struggle with depth. Some of the depth issues are from veterans, like Brad Richardson, who just aren't all that good anymore, but most of it comes from young players who are still probably a year or two away from establishing themselves. This group includes Lawson Crouse, Brendan Perlini, and Anthony Duclair. While its possible that one, or even more than one, of these players find the next gear this season, it still might not be enough to push Arizona over the hump. Also, if the team's ownership falls apart again, which it's been known to do, who knows where that leaves them.
Prediction: 5th Pacific
Calgary Flames
Last year: 4th Pacific (1st WC), lost in round 1
Additions: Travis Hamonic (NYI-Trade), Eddie Lack (CAR-FA), Mike Smith (ARI-Trade)
Departures: Brandon Bollig (SJS-FA), Lance Bouma (CHI-Bought-out), Alex Chiasson (WSH-PTO), Brian Elliott (PHI-FA), Deryk Engelland (VGK-Expansion), Matt Frattin (KHL-FA), Chad Johnson (BUF-FA), Ladislav Smid (Czech-FA), Linden Vey (KHL-FA)
The Good: The Flames have been up and down throughout the past few seasons but appear to have finally found some stability. With young superstars Johnny Gaudreau and Sean Monahan, along with young up and comers Keith Tkachuk and Sam Bennett, coupled with a defense that can rival Nashville, this team is the complete package. Michael Frolik and Micheal Ferland are just two examples of the tremendous depth they have, seeing as almost every player on the roster still are young enough to see improvements, this team is looking potentially scary.
The Bad: The Flames had issues all of last season with goaltending as neither Brain Elliott nor Chad Johnson were able to assert themselves as a number one. The tandem of Mike Smith and Eddie Lack don't appear to be much more promising. The addition of Travis Hamonic solidified the Top 4 but Michael Stone is one of those secretly bad players and Matt Bartkowski doesn't scream "part of an elite defense unit". Unless the Flames can keep the puck out of their net, even with 4 all-star calibre d-men, they may be in for yet another disappointing season following the a playoff appearance.
Prediction: 4th Pacific, 2nd Wildcard
Edmonton Oilers
Last year: 2nd Pacific, lost in round 2
Additions: Jussi Jokinen (FLA-FA), Chris Kelly (OTT-PTO), Ryan Strome (NYI-Trade)
Departures: David Desharnais (NYR-FA), Jordan Eberle (NYI-Trade), Matt Hendricks (WPG-FA), Tyler Pitlick (DAL-FA), Benoit Pouliot (BUF-Bought-out)
The Good: Connor McDavid. Sure, this team has many strong aspects, from Leon Draisaitl to Oscar Kelfbom, and from Cam Talbot to Adam Larsson, but McDavid is the lifeblood of this team. In addition to McDavid and the other players listed above, they also have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, who may never live up to the hype that made him the first overall pick in 2011, but is still a Top 6 talent. Milan Lucic, while owning what is surely to be a disastrous contract in a few years' time, can still produce and is a valuable physical force. Also, did I mention McDavid?
The Bad: Their defense is sketchy. There have been numerous pieces written on Kris Russell, so many that you're probably tired of hearing about him. Nothing I say will get you to change your mind one way for the other so let me just say that I think he's a fine depth defender but is being overvalued in Edmonton both my money and playing time. If you don't like it, you should've left at the start when I gave you the option. Beyond the defense issues, the forward depth is skating on thin ice as they'll rely on youngsters like Kailer Yamamoto and Jujhar Khaira along with veterans such as Mark Letestu and Patrick Maroon to keep them afloat.
Prediction: 1st Pacific
Los Angeles Kings
Last year: 5th Pacific, no playoffs
Additions: Mike Cammalleri (NJD-FA), Christian Folin (MIN-FA)
Departures: Ben Bishop (DAL-Trade), Matt Greene (Retired), Jarome Iginla (FA), Brayden McNabb (VGK-Expansion)
The Good: In Jeff Carter, the Kings have one of the league's most underrated goal scorers, along with Anze Kopitar playing solid two-way hockey and Toffoli and Pearson producing, the Kings have a solid Top 6 unit. Drew Doughty leads a strong group of defenders, along with Jake Muzzin and Alec Martinez, and, even though critics have been eagerly anticipating his demise, Jonathan Quick has yet to flame out. Until he does, he deserves the benefit of the doubt as one of the leagues top netminders.
The Bad: That Jonathan Quick flame out is due at the station any second now. Even though the Kings continue to put up good possession numbers, it's starting to feel like they've just about run out of time. Their bottom pairing on the blueline is scary for all the wrong reasons, and the forward depth is slowly eroding into nothing. They've already changed the front office and the man behind the bench so if things don't improve quick, this may be the end of the Kings as we know them.
Prediction: 6th Pacific
San Jose Sharks
Last year: 3rd Pacific, lost in round 1
Additions: Brandon Bollig (CGY-FA), Brandon Mashinter (CHI-FA)
Departures: Micheal Haley (FLA-FA), Patrick Marleau (TOR-FA), David Schlemko (VGK-Expansion)
The Good: The Sharks are another example of a Western team with a great blueline. Burns, Vlasic, Martin, and the rest are one of the best in the entire league and have Martin Jones as a superb insurance policy behind them. Even though they watched franchise icon Patrick Marleau walk in free agency, they managed to sign Joe Thornton to a very reasonable deal. With the likes of Couture, Pavelski, Hertl, and Ward up front, along with some all around depth. The Sharks seem like they won't miss a step from last season.
The Bad: They're a lot older than you may realize, Pavelski is 32, as is Burns. Vlasic is 30 and even the "young guy", Logan Couture, is pushing thirty as he's 28. Oftentimes, teams don't fade away due to losing players, but, much like we're seeing in LA, the players who were once great began to decline into shadows of their former selves. The Sharks may not be there quite yet, but that day is fast approaching.
Prediction: 3rd Pacific
Vancouver Canucks
Last year: 7th Pacific, no playoffs
Additions: Alexander Burmistrov (ARI-FA), Michael Del Zotto (PHI-FA), Sam Gagner (CBJ-FA), Anders Nilsson (BUF-FA), Ryan White (MIN-PTO), Patrick Wiercioch (COL-FA), Thomas Vanek (FLA-FA)
Departures: Ryan Miller (ANA-FA), Luca Sbisa (VGK-Expansion)
The Good: Do we have to? Ugh, fine. Look, this team is terrible. I know I've tried to keep the representation of good and evil 50/50 in this post but there's really no way to sugar coat this team is bad. They are poor, rough, inferior, abominable, godawful, and faulty. They are junky, crummy, dissatisfactory, grungy, and, dare I say, the pits. If I had to say something good about them, it would be that they will only have to play 82 games and they'll be on the west coast so if you're in the East you won't have to watch them suffer through 60 minutes of pain and agony.
The Bad: Seeing as I covered the bad in the previous section, I thought I might say something nice here. They know they're bad. Admittedly, when you have a team as inadequate, raunchy, slipshod, and dreadful as they do, it would be hard not to notice it. But Vancouver has. The situation with the Sedin's is complicated and it looks like they won't be trading them. They're stuck with Loui Eriksson thanks to a mind-boggling contract signed last off-season. However, they have found a way to work around that. By signing a whole bunch of vets to one-year deals, they will be the centre of attention come the trade deadline and should, if nothing else, come out of this season with a load of extra draft picks and, who knows, maybe even the first one overall.
Prediction: 8th Pacific
Vegas Golden Knights
Last year: N/A
Additions: All
Departures: None
The Good: They play in the same division as the Canucks, who you may remember as the deficient, erroneous, atrocious, sad team from the section before. If anyone can make you look good, it's Vancouver! Other than that, Vegas loaded up with some solid young talent, especially on defense where they landed Nate Schmidt and Shea Theodore. Along with some attractive deadline rental options like David Perron, Jason Garrison, and, most of all, James Neal. They may not have swung for the fences at the expansion draft but they set themselves up for success down the road.
The Bad: I don't really have to tell you this, do I? Essentially every player is at least one spot too high on the depth chart. We've seen how one substandard line can hurt a team's chances in the past, now how about 4 of them and 3 defense pairings punching above their weight? They may have set themselves up for success in the future but make no mistake, this team is still bad.
Prediction: 7th Pacific
Predicted Standings:
- Edmonton
- Anaheim
- San Jose
- Calgary
- Arizona
- Los Angeles
- Vegas
- Vancouver
Cup Predictions:
None. We live in a society already plagued by the very concept of attempting to understand what cannot be understood. The NHL is not just a sports league, but a reflection of the social and spiritual worlds we live in today where all can be known, but nothing can be solved. Attempting to analyze which of the 31 groups of men, all in the 99.9999th percentile of their field, will, through almost equal parts skill and luck, would be to play God. To many people seek to much control these days, only to end up being controlled by their own unhinged lack of self-regulation and their unquenchable thirst for power. If I wish to better myself as a person and those around me, I would stop this foolish game now. Thank you
Ok. All those jerks who skipped to the end are gone. Here are my picks:
Edmonton over Tampa Bay
When it comes to the Oilers, Connor McDavid is just to good to be ignored. With an above average cast around him, the Oilers appear destined to finally take that final step into hockey immortality.